Breathing Is Essential – The Essence Of Intimacy

o be honest, I don’t know much about Yoga. I think I may have mastered mountain pose. But I do know from those I have spoken to that breathing is essential for a good yoga practice.

[post-img]The same can be said for healthy intimate relationships. The essence of intimacy is found in the active willingness of both partners to share with one another the parts of themselves that can be most deeply hurt. In other words, a depth of intimacy requires openness, closeness and vulnerability. But there must be reasonable limits to that openness and closeness, or vulnerability can start to feel like a loss of oneself.

In other words, a depth of intimacy requires openness, closeness and vulnerability.Think about taking in a breath and not letting it out. What shortly happens? You pass out. [tip-fact]The system breaks down and shuts off. Now imagine letting a breath out and not taking in another one. What happens? The same thing. Either way, there is dysfunction rather than health. On a physical level there must be a steady, rhythmic motion of lungs filling and emptying, expanding and contracting.[b-quote]It’s the same way on the relational level. For healthy intimacy to exist, two people must move towards one another in emotional closeness and away from each other in emotional distance. Too much of the former and you can suffocate; too much of the latter and you will feel lonely and isolated. It is this fluid motion that promotes and preserves personal independence and dependence in comfortable patterns of inter-dependence, which allow vulnerabilities to emerge in a relationship of safety.

Relational health and growth is just like a good yoga practice. It needs to breathe. Focus on your breathing and many of you relationship bumps will dissolve into mutual understanding. Fear will be replaced by love.