However, I also get frustrated with her occasionally. Nobody can push my buttons faster than she can. It’s such a blessing that at 92, she’s still incredibly fit, both mentally and physically. That said, however, she has slowed down considerably in her movements. She can’t do as much as she used to – and this is where the frustration sets in for both of us.
Mumsie wants to be independent and I’d like her to be as independent as she can possibly be. And while it’s good for her to do certain things for herself without me hovering nearby, there are certain activities that she can no longer do without jeopardizing her own safety. It’s an unfortunate reality that she is struggling to cope with.
So occasionally, when she insists on doing something that she shouldn’t, I find myself losing my patience and getting angry with her even though I know it’s not her fault. This parent-child reversal of roles is hard on both of us, I think, and there are days when we’re thoroughly fed up with each other.
But something happened recently that smacked some sense into me and gave me a better perspective on how lucky I am to still have her in my life.
The other day, after dropping Mumsie off at her exercise class, I went to buy some groceries. As I was shopping, a woman of approximately my age came up to me and said “Hi”. I didn’t recognize her at all and must have looked puzzled because she introduced herself saying “I’m Terri and I go to the same Church as you do”. After I introduced myself, she continued. “I hope you don’t mind my approaching you but I just wanted to say I’ve noticed you, your mother, and your husband in Church every week and have always been struck by how close you and your mother are”.
She went on to tell me that she had lost her mother when she was seven, so she never really had the opportunity to experience any sort of bond with her. “You’re so very lucky to have your mother with you”.
That hit home – hard.
It was just what I needed to remind myself how fortunate I am to still have my mother share my life. Yes, we may have our difficulties and arguments, but we also have a deep loving bond. And it soothes me to know that after she’s gone, I’ll have no regrets about what I should have said or done, but will instead be comforted by the realization that what we shared was something very special.
So thanks Terri – for reminding me how important Mumsie is in my life. And thanks Mumsie – for everything.
[tags]mother, daughter, blessings, reminders[/tags]