There are some items that I couldn’t part with. Little knick knacks of toys, hand sewn clothing and other articles of clothing that have too much importance; too many memories that are too precious to be thrown away. For example: the handmade book my brother made while he was in elementary school, my father’s old stamp book collection, an old book my grandmother gave me as a child, my sister’s sticker collection that she had when she was a child, and a box of toys my mom used to play with as a child. Sometimes I wonder if they knew that I had kept these things…things that might have been trivial to them but not to me.

Of course, there were things that were thrown out as well. There were two boxes of books and old VHS tapes that were donated to our local library. A box of old electronic equipment that was put up for recycling (there are places where people take old electronic equipment and disassemble them for recycling), and more than four boxes of old college notes, papers, and projects that were recycled.

I find it interesting the little things that I do to start off a new year. Apparently, cleaning was one of them. I felt that by removing the old clutter from my room, I could have a much more organized way of living and life.

Now, if only I can clean up my brain the same way!

Tags: cleaning up, start off a new year, memories, stamp book collection, recycling

My Christmas was spent not with an over-abundance of gifts and physical things, but with great food and conversation. For the first time this year, my family members (mom, brother, and sister) made our gifts or bought small items that were filled with love. With the help of my close friend, we were able to stuff my small gifts into a balloon (without the use of a machine!) for a memorable gift.

I was able to stuff some socks into a balloon for my mom, and green tea and Chapstick for my sister (my brother didn’t get a balloon but he did get a home cooked meal!) Along with the “stuffed balloon” came a bouquet of balloon flowers.

Suze Orman writes, “The things that matter most in this world are those that carry no price tag, for they can neither be bought nor sold at any price.” I totally agree with this. The smiles on their faces was more than any gift could buy. Furthermore, my aunt liked the idea so much that I also made her a bouquet of flowers out of balloons, which brought another big smile to her face – a wonderful thing to see since she had just lost her husband a couple of weeks prior to the holidays.

It’s truly amazing what smiles can do for everyone.

Tags: smile, happy family, the best gift, balloons, big smiles, loving family

As I have recently returned from a visit with the old family, I am reminded of many things. Most importantly, as I alluded to earlier, time does fly. I see my family probably 5-15 days out of the 365-day year.  Sometimes I fleetingly think that that is way too much, but more often I know that it is simply just not enough. Relationships are hard work, particularly when there are one-year gaps between personal visits.  Nevertheless, that does not make the endeavour any less meaningful, or desirable. I enjoy my time with my family, and it would suit me fine to find more ways to spend time together.

As I reflect on the last year, I am reminded of something that I try to teach my kids in my youth group. Never presume someone, including yourself, to be a simple sum of their past experiences. For in doing so, the passion to become more than who you have been and the ability to see others for more than what they been will be diminished by mistakes long since gone.

Happy Year of the Tiger!

Tags: year of tiger, new year of 2010, spending time with family, reflection

So I said to myself that I wouldn’t hold myself to the traditional “resolutions,” but hey, I set goals (same thing, I think). The usual goals come to mind – eating healthier, exercising more, being more proactive in my career goals, etc. Then I thought of one that has escaped me for many years. I set a goal to not take things too seriously. Not to say that I’ll be like the wind, but my goal is more to “stop and smell the roses,” so to speak.

Everything is about balance, and I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I can put too much pressure on myself. A lot of times I forget to enjoy what is happening right now, and that is a shame. One can always worry about the future, but sometimes we forget that one can always enjoy everything that is right in front of them at any moment.

Here’s to a wonderful 2010!

Tags: new year eve, new year resolutions, goals, being healthier, exercising, smell the roses

I closed out my weekend by watching “Avatar,” James Cameron’s beast of a movie. The run time is a robust two hours and 30 minutes, give or take. The visual effects do not disappoint, but that was expected. Most reviews I saw said that it delivered on Cameron’s promise to change film making forever. The storyline is entertaining, but it’s not one that hasn’t been done before. “Dances with Wolves” and “The Last Samurai” were both movies that had similar plots. Having seen those movies, it almost felt like the characters in Avatar didn’t have an arc because I knew how it was going to play out. From the beginning you could sense who was evil and who was not, and they fulfilled their cinematic destinies to a tee.

Nevertheless, it was a thoroughly enjoyable film, and I happened to see it in 3D. I would recommend that this is a must-see movie in the theater because the experience simply won’t be the same at home.

If you haven’t seen the trailer, here it is.

Tags: avatar, avatar review, james cameron, 3D movie, iMax theatre, avatar trailer, must-see-movie

The only bummer is that as I get older my metabolism is definitely slowing down. This year I had a special plan. Before every Christmas party or dinner I would play basketball. And not like ‘shoot around’ basketball with myself. I would play full pick-up games, meaning the intensity level of physical exertion would be high equaling burning more calories. Calories that I would gladly replace in a few hours!

Happy Holidays everyone – and eat, eat, EAT!

Tags: holiday season, christmas, holiday food, special dishes, christmas party, christmas dinner, basketball, calories

For anyone who has gone through the grieving process, you know what it is like.

Emotional wellbeing after losing a loved one can be quite difficult to attain. Everyone wants to do their best to help. Emotions run high, and sometimes result in anger, frustration and fear. Other times, we shut down and do nothing or bury ourselves in our work. Hunger doesn’t seem to be an issue anymore as you are too busy trying to get something completed or you are lying there crying your eyes out. Everything just seems to go by in a dazed and confused state of being. Like you are walking through a dream, only this is reality.

I’ve noticed that funerals tend to bring out the worst in people.

When I found out the news, I decided to wait until the end of the day to call them as I knew they were probably making preparations for their father’s services. I also decided not to call them immediately as I am sure that they didn’t want to be bombarded with calls of condolences for their recent loss. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t mean any disrespect by not wanting to call them right away. My thoughts and prayers were with them, but I wanted to give them time to grieve.

When I did get around to calling my aunt and cousins, the only thing that came out of my mouth was “are you okay?” And in the back of my mind – my own internal dialogue said to me, of course they are not okay. They just lost their loved one. How can you be so insensitive to say something like that!

Stupid brain.

During the services, I was asked to watch over one of my cousins, the toughest of them all. As we were leaving the church to get into the procession, I asked her for the keys so that I could drive her car instead of having her drive. She was so stubborn about the fact that she wanted to drive. I tried to convince her that it was not a good idea (due to her emotional state), but she insisted on driving.

During the procession, she began driving rather aggressively and every little thing set her off: the “Funeral” sticker that flew off her car, the other cars that couldn’t keep up with the procession, the cars that were cutting into the procession line and wouldn’t get out, and the weather (it was raining that day).

When we arrived at the cemetery, due to the rain, we had to go to a gazebo-like place to finish the services. It was a beautiful military service. Then we went back to our cars to drive to the burial site. At that point, my cousin insisted on driving again. But this time as we got into the car, she broke down and began to cry. I got out of the car so that I could comfort her and also get her out of the driver’s seat, but again she refused to move. So I continued to comfort her. I don’t think anything I said registered with her, which I expected as much. After all, I knew exactly what she was going through. Of course, that doesn’t matter at that point. Any words of comfort can never replace a loved one.

I wish my cousin would believe me when I tell her that her father is still with her. I wish I could tell her that she will start to see things differently now, even though the physical world has stayed the same. How all the colors in the world seem to be more vibrant then they were before his passing.

I sound like a madwoman! But that’s kind of how I see things now.

Unfortunately, there is no way to speed up the grieving process. Everyone is different. As I am sure my cousin will figure out.  However, I think in the long run it will bring them closer together.

Tags: emotional wellbeing, losing a loved one, death, funeral, death of father, losing father, dealing with the death

As soon as we arrived, I knew I’d like this cute little town with a lot of illuminations for Christmas. The director of the film festival and her family invited us for the dinner on that day. After enjoying the conversation and meal, we headed back to the hotel, where we had an interview for podcasting through Skype for an hour or so. It was the very first podcasting interview for me, so I am hoping it turned out well. The interviewers of this podcasting are planning to put the interview on their website next weekend or so. I can’t wait to be reminded about what I said(!?)

Next morning, the three of us and the director of the film festival headed to a TV station in Prescott, where we had an interview for the live morning show on TV that aired all over in Arizona. I was so excited to see how GOOD the anchormen were!! They prepared a few questions for each of us and started having a real conversation. There were some moments where I had a very short answer but they quickly changed the topic. I was totally relieved from the pressure that I thought would require me to talk a lot. And when I gave a slightly different answer to a question one of the anchorman asked, it made all of us laugh, so I guess we all had a great time!?!? At least I had such a wonderful time there!!

We checked the theatre after the TV interview and then went on a tour in Prescott. After having a short rest at the hotel, we went back to the theatre to attend the festival. The directors brought two costumes that I wore during the filming, so we placed them in the lobby and had some posters on the wall to welcome the audience.

There was one short film, followed by the feature of our film on that day. After the films, we had a Q&A on the stage. WOW! There were tons of questions coming from the audience! It seemed like they were so enthusiastic about our film! I am so glad everyone liked it:)

After our breakfast the next morning, we started heading back to LA. This time we took a different route, partially on Historical road Route 66, and we again stopped at several places to take pictures. There were so many things we talked about and I really enjoyed the journey on the road with the co-directors. I felt blessed and felt like I was in a dream. At the same time I recognized that I do love being involved in anything with film or entertainment. It must be my calling.

I thank Spteh, Alec, Helen, Chris, Wes – and all the people who are a part of my life and have spent so much effort to make this happen.

Happy holidays everyone…and lots of love.

Tags: the red machine, prescott film festival, podcasting, feature film, Q&A

However, to watch Avatar in 3D is to really see what is attainable with the 3D format – I felt real depth in what I saw and, most importantly, I became unaware that I was watching a 3D movie. It is that visually engrossing. While the story is very simple and can even seem oversimplified at times, I like the message and perspective of the film. Reconnecting with nature rather than pillaging her for our selfish needs. Realizing that we are connected symbiotically with nature rather than the master of nature.

Let’s move towards that. Highly recommended.

Tags: avatar, james cameron, 3d movie, imac theatre, 3d effect

Meanwhile, apart from preparing all those materials, there have been other things that I need to take care of, such as meeting with the directors of the film, reading the first draft of scripts with my fellow actors for possible film productions, baby-sitting as a part-time job, memorizing a monologue for the improvisation class that I have been taking, and rehearsing every weekend for a play that I’m doing. The promotional reel for my acting has (finally!!) been uploaded on to YouTube as well.

Because of the pressure and the tight schedule, I ended up getting a bit sick this weekend. I was doing some Sun Salutations on Sunday morning before I felt sick, but my body still felt exhausted, so I slept for most of the day on Sunday. I was debating whether I should go to the improv class that evening but decided to go and was so glad that I did that for myself!

Even though I’m pushing myself so hard to move forward as an actor and am exhausted everyday, it’s still such an excitement for me. I’m so happy to be able to do all of these things. Hopefully, all the hard work I’ve been putting in will lead me somewhere in my acting career in the near future.

Tags: the red machine, promotional reel, acting reel, sun salutations, film festival, acting career, email broadcasting