This flux is not new. The flow from one experience to another is part of the timelessness of our existence. That we have changing needs, changing habits and changes in friendship, career and location is all normal.

And yet it feels as if there are bigger changes afoot all around us right now.

When we feel a new and dynamic form of energy start to affect us, sometimes we embrace it, and sometimes we just want to shut it out. When it’s an unknown sensation, and there’s no one who can explain it to us, the quick reaction would be to ignore it, or to avoid it altogether.

As one of many species on earth, we have been preparing for the BIG changes set to come our way in this magical year of 2012. I believe that feeling the magic, instead of retreating in uncertainty, is our call to Love.

The most certain way to find a sense of stability as we shift from forms of fear into forms of Love, is to look toward what our gut instincts, or our Intuition, have
to tell us…

I will be speaking about this at the Virtual Yoga Conference “Yoga, Meditation and the Philosopher’s Stone” this February. My talk is on Using Intuition in this Dynamic and Passionate Time of Change. We will look at ways to work with what we know, but don’t always acknowledge, to give us a sense of purpose and safety as we transition to the magical new awareness we are opening to.

Breathe, meditate, play, and accept the opening which you have been craving.

Tags: Anatara, changes, love, 2012, Intuition, transition, flow, Virtual Yoga Conference

Everything about the giraffe’s body is built for one thing: reaching towering heights. As the world’s tallest land animal, they have an unrivaled reach. With legs that are taller than many humans — about 6 feet — to a neck that weighs over 600 pounds, the whole structure enables the giraffe to eat tasty treats unavailable to others constrained closer to earth.

Yet you don’t see other animals lamenting the fact that they can’t reach what’s easy for the giraffe to reach. The zebra or lion don’t appear to be jealous. You don’t see them being melancholy over the fact that they are height-challenged in comparison.

It seems a purely human trait to compare ourselves to others, only to find ourselves lacking in one way or another.

I do consulting work at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, the largest and most established retreat center for yoga, health, and holistic living in North America. On any given day, I can look around the cafeteria during lunch to see lots of fit, young bodies. I notice my mind comparing my middle-aged body that gave birth to two children to those younger bodies.

Those thoughts are, of course, useless. But they are there nonetheless.

Wanting to cultivate a peaceful approach to my maturing body and do less comparing, I shared my experience with a friend of mine. I wanted some advice from this wise woman I admired. We chatted as we walked the grounds of Kripalu after lunch, confirming that yes, indeed, no matter how well you eat, no matter how much yoga you practice, the body ages and changes.

It’s like the shirt I saw on an older person in the Kripalu cafeteria. It read, “I eat well. I exercise. And still I’m gonna die.”

Well, that’s it in a nutshell, right?

As my friend and I walked, we started laughing. Unfortunately for me, I did not take a bathroom break before our walk. So as our giggles ramped up, so did my need for a stronger bladder muscle. Since those muscles have never been the same since giving birth, I improvised. I did what every woman instinctively knows to do — I crossed my legs and squeezed.

There I was, right in the middle of the picturesque road leading to a meditative retreat center, hunched over my crossed legs hysterically laughing for everybody driving by to see.

Which only made us laugh all the harder. Then my friend let out an unexpected burp.

All we needed was a good old fart to finish off the image of two aging bodies out of control.

All ended well. I made it to the bathroom without incident, and my friend’s excess gas was worked out. And the laughing fit continues to nourish me any time a thought arises about the maturing process. If I can still laugh hysterically because of bathroom humor, all is not lost.

Even as I write this essay, I am laughing hysterically. Laughing really is the best medicine.

Yes, the giraffe can reach great heights. But what happens when he wants to get a drink of water? His height hampers. He becomes vulnerable to attack as that long neck that can reach the heavens cannot reach the earth, causing him to spread his legs wide or even kneel in order to drink. In fact, the giraffe’s jugular vein contains a series of one-way valves that prevent the back flow of blood when the head is down to drink water, thus preventing a blackout.

No great gift, like the height of a giraffe, comes without a corresponding downside. The great gift of maturity is perspective. The downside is a weak bladder.

I can handle that.

Tags: comparing, self confidence , vulnerable, giraffe, stretching, human, trait

As far as the sun knows, it is now giving us, the inhabitants of the Northern hemisphere, a little more light every day. Every day will have a few more minutes of sunlight than the previous one.

I wonder if we notice this.

Do you notice this subtle change each day?
Or do you realize at some point that the sun is setting later than it was a month earlier?

Becoming aware of the subtle changes around us, as with the sun’s movement north, is a perfect reference point for an understanding of the amount of attention we apply to all things. What kinds of change attract your attention?

Do you notice changes in your family members, or with your friends? Do you notice a new sign on the street, or that the trees are starting to bud in late winter?
Do you notice changes in your mood, your health, your desires, your appearance?

What things stand out for you when they shift and change?

When you notice a change, does it feel harmonious to you or discordant?
Do some changes please you while others are disturbing?

If you like, make a short list of some of the things that you see change and how you perceive these changes. Notice how you feel about these things. Notice whether you become more centred, or are thrown off balance by certain events and things changing.

There are clues in your feelings about change, that describe you as an individual.
As you become aware of change, and of the ebb and flow of your life, it can be easy to see where you hold onto things that you don’t really need anymore.

The sun’s light diminished for us, and it is now returning.
Changes occurred in our lives, which have either diminished our brightness or brought us into a state of greater light and well being.

Which is it for you?

Let the sun’s return signal the return of your own light.

Is there anything that you want, or need to do to live in a ‘brighter’ way?
Shine away, this is what we are all here to do!

Blessings for a fantastic new year of Light!

Tags: sun, changes, more light, equinox, mood, ebb, flow, vernal

I presumed that no one in the restaurant could tell I was packin’ (a catheter, not a pistol/piss tool).

Using my Diaper Dude super powers (Act Four), I began visualizing and imagining all of my fellow diners with a cornucopia of unseen devices: prosthetic limbs, pacemakers, bags for all reasons, transplanted organs etc… When it began to resemble a Fellini film, my mind returned to dinner.

I was grateful that Medicine (my profession) has provided people the opportunity to function and live good lives, even though there were issues with tissues (body parts). I appreciated how people were capable of dealing with adversity and moving forward, many quite gracefully.

It was time to make a decision about the supra-pubic catheter. It needed to be removed because of potential infection. But what if my urethra was not up to the task? Would it let me down again even though I thought I had fixed the issue by removing the tissue? Another catheter would have to be reinserted immediately along the same track. Otherwise I would have to begin catheterizing myself, or go back to the operating room and have another tube inserted under general anesthesia. I didn’t want any of these options so I worked diligently, on all levels, to succeed. With a week to go, I was super confident. With two days to go, I started having separation anxiety.

At the appointed time I entered the doctor’s waiting room, positive that it could be removed. Unfortunately, I had to wait a little longer than usual because there were others ahead of me with unscheduled, complicating maladies. This gave me just enough time to question most of my confidence. I felt a slight feeling of suffocation, which I relieved by stepping outside multiple times to focus and breathe semi-fresh air.

I entered the doctor’s office, once again sitting on the side of the desk nearest the plastic representation of the exposed male genitalia (Act Three). I told my doctor I wanted the tube out but I didn’t want to risk the consequences of a system failure.

Accounting for our seated positions and the distance across the desk, the aforementioned genitalia model was occupying the visual space of my doctor’s face. In the brief instant between my statement and his response, I wondered if he had the same visual from the backside?
Things became surrealistic as his voice seemed to be coming from the plastic genitals. ”Sometimes”, it/he said, “the tube has to stay in for months, and sometimes people have to be catheterized for life”. Even the funny visual didn’t prevent the wave of nausea.

We decided to do an objective test and leave the decision up to scientific data. I was comfortably back in my element: test taking (which I have done all my life). I lay on the table in my now very familiar position while the doctor used the supra-pubic catheter as a conduit to fill my bladder with fluid. I could feel it filling up and stretching my abdomen back into my prior pregnancy state (Act one). Now it was my mission to empty the same amount of fluid he had inserted. If it emptied, the catheter would come out and I would be free. If not, we would remove this one and place another one in immediately.

Houston, we didn’t have a problem.

Everything worked. The doctor said “congratulations” as he cut the suture, which had secured the catheter to my abdominal wall. The catheter was pulled without any of the pain I had anticipated. My Mother would have been proud had I been able to tell her I’d “aced” my urine test.

I am now fully into the healing mode; accepting challenges, avoiding complications, learning when to push and when to flow, and accepting that I am not totally in charge. Sometimes my energy is high when things are going well. Sometimes my energy is low when I feel like I am not progressing. I am now four months out and still healing. I was told it takes four to six months.

Injury and illness, although different in specifics, have many things in common related to healing, setbacks, ebb and flow, highs and lows, unexpected issues that seem to pile on.

Throughout the process I recognized some things that helped me. Maybe some of them will help you.

1.Be prepared:
Physically, mentally and spiritually. Obtain the knowledge of how the treatment should progress before, during and following the procedure.

2.Be in Gratitude:
The more one remains in that “state”, the easier it is. When pain or suffering is peaking, finding things to be grateful for will take you to a better place. Thank everyone along the way.

3.Support system:
Even if you don’t tell everyone, just know they are there and allow people to help when needed.

4.Have a good doctor and office staff communication

5.Perspective:
When the overall garden may not look so good, search for some beautiful flowers to enjoy. Other times, a weed may appear but it is still a beautiful garden. Appreciate all the things that are working correctly in your body, mind and spirit.

6. Be Relevant:
Begin doing something related to your vocation or a hobby as soon as possible.

7.Peaks and Valleys:
They are going to happen even if unrelated to the main event. Just when I was starting to feel almost normal, my father died.

8.Humor:
Look for humor and fun stories to share in every part of the journey. You might have a great blog or book in you. It may help others.

9.Posture and Alignment:
Try and regain or remain as close to your natural alignment as possible. Being out of alignment can cause new problems at a time when you are trying to heal from something else. Things flow better when in alignment.

10. Hygiene:
Stay clean, don’t increase the opportunity for infection at a time when your immune system might be struggling or compromised.

11.Choose the right words and thoughts:
Words actually do mean something. Just changing a word made me feel better about the experience.

12. Food is medicine, medicine is food. (Hippocrates-lite):
Eat healthy, small portions. Eat very slowly (M.Pollan-lite).

13.Pet therapy:
I didn’t have any for this one but I have had in the past. Your pet will love you unconditionally.

14.Make Changes:
Evaluate who you were (physically, mentally and spiritually) and what may have been contributing factors leading to the event. Consider making changes.

15.Healin’ and Dealin‘:
Try to make most of the issues you have to deal with about healing. If you are dealing with an issue that is not about healing, make the decision with healing in mind.

16. “Oh blah di, Life goZon” (McCartney-lite)

Magical Medical Tour:

Act 1 and 2: Signs and Symptoms

Act 3: A Nightmare Week

Act 4: Surgery and Superheros

Act 5: Healin’ and Dealin’

Glen Wollman, Healing, Gratitude, Positivity, prepared, humor

Inspiration struck at the grocery store. I was heading for the checkout counter when my eye was caught by a photo on a greeting card: a darling baby with her bright, sparkling eyes peeping over the top of a bucket, above the words, “Give us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them.”

I bought that cute card.

Dreams are never meant to be toned down to what is reasonable, comfortable, and in a size that fits you now. Dreams need to be bulky, unwieldy, a bit too big to hold, with plenty of room for a growth spurt or two.

Dreams are meant to be bold.

For some reason, growing up seems to translate into growing out of big dreams. Youth seems well suited for energizing pie-in-the-sky thinking. Growing up usually means replacing big thinking with “being realistic” — a known killer of creativity.

Like Goldilocks looking for just the right fit, reaching out for your dreams means trying new things on for size so that you are constantly stretching your heart and head. Dreams don’t need to be limited by anything as mundane as geographic or financial constraints. They just need something simple to be nurtured — they need a “yes” from you instead of a “no”.

Saying “yes” to a dream means answering the call. Dreams are always calling, whispering of a new way, a creative possibility, a grand adventure. Dreams require many “yeses” and “I do’s” along the way. Just like any committed relationship, you don’t say “I do” once and walk away. Everyday actions either solidify that “yes” or break it apart.

Your dreams are worthy of that daily “yes,” aren’t they?

Tags: dreams, unwieldy, big, yes, stretching, heart

My dear, dear uncle has finally transitioned to his new journey.
The last few months, we spent several hours a week together.
Not the same as when he was staying in my home, but still it was wonderful to laugh together and — being Portuguese — eat together!

He was the favorite of my uncles and aunts.
He always brought laughter into people’s lives.
He did little things that no others would think of doing.
He loved children and yet was not blessed with his own.
A forever prankster.

He shall be missed as we say farewell to him.

Now it is time to welcome him back into my home.
This time his Spirit.
Strong and yet gentle.
His love continues to surround us.
We are blessed.
The candles continue to burn bright as we celebrate
his new journey.

His Spirit and Grace will live forever within our hearts.

Tags: new journey, transitional, spirit, grace, memories, fondness, favorite uncle

We have established previously that the breath is not only vital to the survival of our physical being, but that it is also vital to the sustenance and maintenance of our spiritual and emotional bodies.

When the breath is fluid within us, encountering no obstacles or blockages, we can utilize the oxygen, prana and renewing energy of the breath, unencumbered. In this case, the breath is pure nourishment. It feeds all of our systems, physical and other, allowing us to be ready and available for whatever the day asks of us.

We become ready for physical activity, we are full of vitality for emotional interactions…spiritual openness flows through us. Our intuition is free and clear of encumbrance to its purity and clarity.

The breath is therefore required for physical survival and is equally available to support our emotional survival.

Pause for a moment… contemplate your breath as it is right now. Close your eyes and become aware of the sensation of the breath as it flows in, and as it flows out. Be aware of how it is entering your body. Are you breathing in through your nose or through your mouth?

Where does the breath flow to next? Can you feel it moving through your throat, into your chest, or into other parts of your body? Do you notice that it flows easily in some places, and becomes glitchy, shortened or strained in others? Do not be aggressive or judgmental with this evaluation and assessment…you are observing how you breathe, no more and no less. There is no “right” or “wrong” to the way you are breathing.

There is a way to become aware of how you do breathe, and to become aware of what that means to you in your life. These are some of the things that we will continue to explore.

Before I asked, were you thinking about your breathing at all? Or was it flowing in and out of your body without conscious awareness on your part? I am by no means suggesting that we have to be aware of the breath in every moment. But we can be.

Imagine what it would be like if you always had some sort of awareness of your breath. You would always know, through a part of your consciousness that is also tuned into other things, how your breath was flowing (or not flowing)

Our breathing reflects the way we feel, physically and emotionally. It is a constant source of information about how we are doing in any given moment. Pay attention to your breath for five minutes at a time, at intervals throughout your day. Notice if you are at ease or agitated, and then notice what the flow of your breath is like at those times.

Notice if there is a correlation between the breath, happiness, or stress. In the next discussion, I’ll start to describe how to utilize the breath for comfort, and how to create equanimity and action depending on what you want.

The breath will develop into a voice for your needs and a solution to some of your questions.

Check in with your breathing now and then. Make note of what is happening around you and inside you, and how it correlates to your breathing. Allow this exploration to be interesting and fun! See what it can inform you about.

Tags: breathing, conscious, correlation, happiness, stress, flowing

I know many people who feel that they are not ‘doing’ enough right now. They feel that there simply must be something that they should be actively engaged in, something that, in the ‘doing’, is working for the greater good.

Many sense that there is deep planetary change afoot. They can feel themselves perched on the cusp of a change. The change seems imminent. The change seems rather pressing. The change feels unavoidable. There is also a sense that whatever the change may be, it is more important than anything else that may have happened to them thus far in their lives.

We are all feeling something. For some of us, it feels inevitable. For some, it feels frightening. For others, there is the understanding that we must engage in whatever it is by actively participating in the movement. There must be a role for each individual to play.

Discovering what this role is becomes paramount for many.

There is the feeling that, unless we know how to participate, we are wasting our time. Or we are not taking the responsibility of being human seriously enough.

Within the collective consciousness of the concept of 2012, there are many paths to follow. There are many interpretations of the information available about the evolution and change we approach.

What is really going to happen?
For that matter what is happening already?

I see that we are in the flow of a kind of harmonization between the cosmos, the earth, we the people, and consciousness. As a collective of species on earth, we have been in an evolutionary journey spanning millennia. As individuals, we arrived from numerous sources to engage with life here on earth. This life, which we participate in collectively, is ready for an upscale.

The “upscaling” is going to have a number of forms to it. Some things may feel cataclysmic and destructive, some things may carry us into a delicious state of togetherness and bliss.

Whether you experience it as an ‘apocalypse’ or not is up to you…

So, as we return to the question of what each of us is meant to do, I offer the following as a way to make peace with the shift.

The shift is happening – we are all a part of it… Be as patient as you can be with the pace of the shift for yourself. Sometimes you will be in a holding pattern, where it seems that you don’t know how to act. Sometimes you will be certain that it is time to ‘do’ something. And it will be clear what you need to do!

Your role is to be present, and to “do” that which is clear to you in the moment. When it’s not clear, perhaps then your role is to remain calm, and wait until it is clear.

Take it easy, take it breathfully, take it together…

Tags: harmonization, cosmic shift, planetary change, imminent change, apocalypse, peacefully shift

Last week, here in Canada, there was a death that moved many right across the country… It was movement of the people’s hearts and minds in response to the loss of a man who believed in unity and fairness above all else.

Jack Layton was a father, a deeply affectionate husband, and a grass roots organizer, always bringing to the fore the true needs of some of the often ignored members of society (including women). His social democratic focus allowed him to rise in our political realm, from the position of city councillor in Toronto to the head of the New Democratic Party and official leader of the opposition as a Member of Parliament in our capital city, Ottawa.

This man laughed; he sang, he cried, he showed us that he would get down on his knees with us, the people, when the moment called for it. There is so much said about politicians in the press…we see their actions decoded, dismantled and evaluated. With this sort of analysis, so much is lost about the truth of an individual, about what they choose to ‘stand and fight’ for, and about what this means to the people.

Jack made the world of politics and the world of representing the truth of the people – no matter who he had to do it with – look like fun. His simple honesty and grasp of the important detail of deep humanitarian issues made us Love him.

It’s our hearts that ache this week. We wonder who will represent us as truthfully and clearly as Jack did. We wonder if anyone will ever understand us again.

We wonder how we can now carry the torch and ‘fight’ for ourselves.

This, I believe, is his legacy: He showed us how to represent ourselves by doing it himself first. And, in his transition, he let us see how many others there are who feel the same way. We, the people, poured our hearts out in displays of chalk memorials across the country.

We shared the ‘loss’ as it became a gain…Jack showed us that we are the people, and that what we care about is something worth living and ‘fighting’ for.

One of these community touch points, or areas of rejuvenated awareness, is about this Earth we call “Mother”. Jack believed in her re-emergence as a strong and vibrant supporter for our human unfolding.

In an extraordinarily moving and prescient eulogy, another pre-eminent Canadian, Steven Lewis, former UN Ambassador for HIV-Aids in Africa, used the following words to sum up Jack Layton as man, politician, humanitarian and protector of the Earth and her people:

I believe that these words can be our mantra for the open appreciation of each other and of this glorious planet on which we live, which supports and guides us. In pursuit of our dreams and goals, sometimes we need to be active, sometimes we need to be still and simply listen ….

As you listen to the wisdom of Arundhati Roy, you will know whether in this moment there is harmony for you in action or in stillness…

“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
Arundhati Roy

It almost seems too simple to be true…

Blessings and Love,
Anatara

Tags: bringing-community-together, humanitarian, honesty, a-new-world, Jack-Layton, rejuvenated-awareness, Arundhati-Roy, Mother-Earth

Does it feel like your beliefs help you? If you changed some of your beliefs, would it change your life?

It is so comforting to have something to believe in. It is so rewarding to believe that we know what to do, and that we are making an accurate and valid decision. When there is a strong ‘reason’ behind a choice, we feel safe in making that choice. We feel convinced that what we do is ‘right’. We believe in what we are doing.

And it certainly feels wonderful to believe in another person. We can believe that we are loved, that we are cared for, that the other person has our best interests in mind. This feels really safe.

But where do these beliefs come from?

I wonder sometimes if the thought that I am having is generated from my mind or is coming directly through from my Intuition. It is often so hard to make this discernment. As I move through my life, one of my desires is that I derive most of my information from Intuition, rather than from what I think, or what I believe.

Thoughts and beliefs, generated by the mind, are full of rich elements. These thoughts can be beautiful, they can be quite detailed, and they can make us believe that they are full of truth. They can be VERY convincing as they make us want to believe what they are presenting to us.

This makes me wonder again about where these thoughts, and these beliefs come from? I have spent quite a lot of time unravelling the differences between thoughts based on our beliefs, and thoughts based on what we hear through Intuition.

In general, we are at the mercy of the thoughts that come through from our minds, and from the beliefs based on our past experiences. We create whole belief systems about ourselves, our friends and families, and our lives, based on what the mind has created out of events that we have experienced in the past.

Beliefs that grow out of these past experiences are based on a time that is over, not on who we are right now, or what is really occurring right now. We attempt to live our lives based on a set of ideas that applied before, in a totally different set of circumstances than are available now.

The beliefs that we tend to pay attention to are the beliefs of the mind, the beliefs of the past.

A new opportunity exists, to instead pay attention to the clear and free thoughts that our Intuition can guide us to.

Believing that there is a way to liberate ourselves from the constrictions of past experience, we begin to create a new set of beliefs. The primary new belief can be that we are open to Intuitive guidance. When we experiment with this, we create a door to freedom from the mind.

This feels good!
Blessings and Love,
Anatara

Tags: belief-systems, trust your intuition, release-past-experiences, overcoming-obstacles, clear-free-thoughts, desires-misjudgment