Everything about the giraffe’s body is built for one thing: reaching towering heights. As the world’s tallest land animal, they have an unrivaled reach. With legs that are taller than many humans — about 6 feet — to a neck that weighs over 600 pounds, the whole structure enables the giraffe to eat tasty treats unavailable to others constrained closer to earth.

Yet you don’t see other animals lamenting the fact that they can’t reach what’s easy for the giraffe to reach. The zebra or lion don’t appear to be jealous. You don’t see them being melancholy over the fact that they are height-challenged in comparison.

It seems a purely human trait to compare ourselves to others, only to find ourselves lacking in one way or another.

I do consulting work at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, the largest and most established retreat center for yoga, health, and holistic living in North America. On any given day, I can look around the cafeteria during lunch to see lots of fit, young bodies. I notice my mind comparing my middle-aged body that gave birth to two children to those younger bodies.

Those thoughts are, of course, useless. But they are there nonetheless.

Wanting to cultivate a peaceful approach to my maturing body and do less comparing, I shared my experience with a friend of mine. I wanted some advice from this wise woman I admired. We chatted as we walked the grounds of Kripalu after lunch, confirming that yes, indeed, no matter how well you eat, no matter how much yoga you practice, the body ages and changes.

It’s like the shirt I saw on an older person in the Kripalu cafeteria. It read, “I eat well. I exercise. And still I’m gonna die.”

Well, that’s it in a nutshell, right?

As my friend and I walked, we started laughing. Unfortunately for me, I did not take a bathroom break before our walk. So as our giggles ramped up, so did my need for a stronger bladder muscle. Since those muscles have never been the same since giving birth, I improvised. I did what every woman instinctively knows to do — I crossed my legs and squeezed.

There I was, right in the middle of the picturesque road leading to a meditative retreat center, hunched over my crossed legs hysterically laughing for everybody driving by to see.

Which only made us laugh all the harder. Then my friend let out an unexpected burp.

All we needed was a good old fart to finish off the image of two aging bodies out of control.

All ended well. I made it to the bathroom without incident, and my friend’s excess gas was worked out. And the laughing fit continues to nourish me any time a thought arises about the maturing process. If I can still laugh hysterically because of bathroom humor, all is not lost.

Even as I write this essay, I am laughing hysterically. Laughing really is the best medicine.

Yes, the giraffe can reach great heights. But what happens when he wants to get a drink of water? His height hampers. He becomes vulnerable to attack as that long neck that can reach the heavens cannot reach the earth, causing him to spread his legs wide or even kneel in order to drink. In fact, the giraffe’s jugular vein contains a series of one-way valves that prevent the back flow of blood when the head is down to drink water, thus preventing a blackout.

No great gift, like the height of a giraffe, comes without a corresponding downside. The great gift of maturity is perspective. The downside is a weak bladder.

I can handle that.

Tags: comparing, self confidence , vulnerable, giraffe, stretching, human, trait

My dear, dear uncle has finally transitioned to his new journey.
The last few months, we spent several hours a week together.
Not the same as when he was staying in my home, but still it was wonderful to laugh together and — being Portuguese — eat together!

He was the favorite of my uncles and aunts.
He always brought laughter into people’s lives.
He did little things that no others would think of doing.
He loved children and yet was not blessed with his own.
A forever prankster.

He shall be missed as we say farewell to him.

Now it is time to welcome him back into my home.
This time his Spirit.
Strong and yet gentle.
His love continues to surround us.
We are blessed.
The candles continue to burn bright as we celebrate
his new journey.

His Spirit and Grace will live forever within our hearts.

Tags: new journey, transitional, spirit, grace, memories, fondness, favorite uncle

Almost 90 years’ difference.

I was shocked when I saw them both sticking their tongues out at each other in that naughty way that I am sure we all remember.
I say that I was shocked because I have always taught my child that this sort of behaviour was not allowed, but what can I say now?

Here was his elder playing in such a way.

I have to admit it was fun to watch the two being so mischievous, pointing the finger at each other, blaming one another.
Don’t you remember ever doing that?

So of course the next time I caught them making those gestures, both were reprimanded.
In return I was treated to two mischievous, naughty, pouty faces.

Truly the monkey following the Master at any age.

Tags: zen master, my son, monkey see monkey do, blessing time, family banding

It’s hard to watch Mumsie, who’s always been a vibrant, warm and loving woman, slowly but inevitably become more forgetful, confused and frustrated. Everyone says how wonderfully alert and healthy she is at 93 – and that’s undoubtedly so – but they are not with her 24/7 like I am, so they don’t notice all the inevitable changes that are happening to her.

The challenge is to enable her to maintain as much independence as possible without compromising her safety. This is not as easy as it may sound and Mumsie and I are often at loggerheads about what’s “safe” and what’s not. She still thinks she’s able to do certain things (like climb a ladder!) that are now well beyond her capabilities.

While I don’t want to wrap her up in cotton wool, I also don’t want her to end up jeopardizing her health and safety. A friend of hers fell a few months ago and is now in a wheelchair and living in a seniors’ home. She’s in constant pain but won’t take the pain medication prescribed for her as she thinks “there’s no point”…sadly, she’s given up on life. I don’t want that for Mumsie – if she ends up in a wheelchair because it’s an inevitable aging process, so be it. But I don’t want her to fall and sustain permanent damage to herself, which would result in a painful and severe downturn in her quality of life.

I’ve spoken to her doctor and to a friend of mine who’s a nurse at a senior home. They both assure me that I’m doing the right thing – allowing her some independence but trying to prevent her from hurting herself. But it’s a constant struggle for both Mumsie and me – to find the balance between respecting and loving her as my mother and caring for her almost as one would a child, while ensuring that she maintains her dignity. A friend said to me “it’s like having children” but it’s not really. A child becomes more independent while an aging parent becomes less so.

And yet, with all the struggles that Mumsie and I continue to face, we both still feel blessed to have each other in our lives. Whenever I get frustrated, I try and take a step back to consider what my life would be without her – and that immediately helps me realize how incredibly fortunate I am to still have her with me.

Tags: taking care of my mother, the balance of life, precious time with my mother, how to take good care of seniors, senior’s safety

Whenever my son calls me “Mummy”, it is hard for me not to think of my own mother. It’s almost a strange moment. . .a hesitation to respond, even though it’s been several years since he’s been able to speak.

Circle of life. Balance. Awareness.

It really is a beautiful flow that many of us get to experience. The changes and shifts that ultimately take place in life.

My little Zen Master continues to guide me through my life.

Tags: Mother’s Day, being a mother, mummy, my son, Zen Master

A few weeks ago, I was commuting back and forth for up to five hours a day before work to support him in the critical time of his health. The few extra hours that I would normally spend with my growing child was suddenly diverted to support Uncle Bob instead.

Was this a difficult choice to make?

Many of you know how precious my son is to me. My Zen master in a child’s body. So I thought to myself, if he is truly a master then he would understand the love and care for the elderly.

We gathered as a family to make a clear decision together. In order for me to spend time with my son again, I thought I should bring Uncle Bob to come live with us. We have an extra room so why not make use of it? I have already been cooking his foods for him for the past months anyway, so how much more does it take to serve him his few meals, tend to his medicines and supplements, clean up after him?

He is mainly bedridden, except when he gets up to use the commode.
He can’t get around the house, so he has been confined to his room.

I have to say, having him stay with us was the best decision we could have made.

Is it more work added to my daily routine? Of course it is. I would be a fool to not admit that. But to be able to spend more time with my family and work at the same time is unquestionably wonderful.

So are you one that is contemplating supporting an elder?

The situation may be different, but the joy of seeing them enjoy the last few moments of their life is unbelievable.

Tags: assisting the elderly, family gathering, spending time with my family, supporting an elder

Funny how I have had many interesting comments since taking him under my care.

“Is he your father’s brother?”
“Is he your mother’s brother?”

No he is neither, he is actually my father’s cousin by adoption.

“So why are you taking on this burden when he is not even direct family?”

I find it very interesting how so many, although not all, in our society view this situation as a burden.

So I ask you. . .who do you consider family?
What do you see as parameters to this title?

I had been told growing up that “blood is thicker than water”, meaning that blood relations will always be there for you and to support you.

What I have found to be true, however, is that it does not matter if one is related by blood or not.

I have wonderful friends (who I consider family) that have supported me through the years with their love, honesty, and compassion. They have stayed by me through the ebb and flow of life, just as I have been there for them. They know more about me than my own blood relatives.

Yet I am very blessed to have a wonderful immediate family who are very close and respectful of one another. Many cannot say the same in this world today.

We have built an incredible community of individuals at YogaHub, many of whom I would call “family”. Would I do for them what I am doing for my uncle? The answer is yes.

What and who is family to you?

Something to consider before it is possibly too late and you don’t have precious moments to share with those individuals.

Tags: blood is thicker than water, what is family, blood relatives, my uncle, adapted family

I feel like I have been hangin’ on to one of the bunny’s ears as it flops around during the bouncing. Wheeee. Whoooaaaw.

The universe has had so many of us whirling with the winds because our beautiful planet is in such a state of change and shifts.

Visualizing myself cushioned in the warm soft fur of the bunny is my comfort as I continue to move forward.

The year began with the pre-production of our big event – our 2nd Virtual Conference. During that time, my uncle was in and out of emergency with a series of imbalances that threw him into turmoil and resulted in a terrible loss of motor skills, etc.

Driving two to three hours back and forth to see him daily before beginning my work day was quite a challenge.

Then, during the conference, I had to arrange bodyworkers to continue the work I had started with him. As much as I wanted to be with him, I had to focus on the conference, so I could only send healing energies to support him from a distance.

A couple of days following the conference, after I had made the appropriate arrangements, I moved him into my home.

He has almost left us several times already, but at least now I feel good that he is continuously surrounded by love. So, if or when he chooses to make his life transition, we are all secure in the knowledge that it will be with comfort and love.

Are you going through a whirlwind as well?
Try snuggling in that warm soft fur of the bunny year (ear).

Tags: year of the Rabbit, virtual world yoga conference, uncle, ending life

I knew nothing about Marci upon going into this session and was, in fact, a little dubious…I’ve heard a lot of people talk about “love” over the years, and it’s an easy subject to abuse (with lots of love language and not a lot of substance), but I was pleasantly surprised both by Marci and by the content of her workshop.

Marci Shimoff is the author of a number of books (many of them NY Times bestsellers) and her latest, Love for No Reason, was the foundation of this morning’s workshop.

Marci is a pretty fascinating chick and, if you want to know all the nitty-gritty of her work and her life, I suggest you check out her website, HappyForNoReason.com, as there’s too much for me to even scratch the surface of here. But I will just say, the lady KNOWS that of which she speaks. And what she speaks of is…love.

Love, love, love. The power of love, the science of love, the electromagnetic current of love, the practice of love and love as our number one reason for being, the numero uno job description of the human condition. Apparently, I agree with much of what she said, as a few times throughout the hour I found myself spontaneously bursting into those little tear-less sobs – you know the kind I’m talking about? The kind that just burst out of you like laughter and leave your heart softer on the other side?

(That is officially embarrassing confession number two.)

But the other thing, and maybe the BEST thing about Marci, is that she was not all talk. Included in her workshop were: 1. Several pieces of very compelling evidence that love is a measurable and powerful force in the world, and in individual lives; and 2. Several straightforward practices that a person could do every day in the privacy of his or her own home or head or heart to start increasing the flow of love in their lives, right away. This, for me, is the sign of someone who has work of real value to present – the ability to start to experiment with and test the evidence of a practice right away. That is a powerful thing.

Marci also emphasized the importance of practice…just as with all of these things that we implement to improve our lives, whether it be diet or exercise or meditation, there is a need for consistency and dedication if anything is going to be worthwhile. And sometimes I really need to be reminded of that.

I think that for all of us attending and participating in this conference, it’s so important to remember that the listening all by itself can not effect change. Great speakers and great material can inspire us towards change, but the actual habit-changing/thought-bending work…that is ours to do, and it has to be done with devotion and with regularity.

I highly recommend you check Marci’s session titled “Love For No Reason” (where there are some crazy discounts on several of her teaching tools) and on her website…she will, for sure, help you to crack open your heart just a little bit wider if you do.

Besides, what right do I have to go around with a “poor me” attitude when my life is filled with blessings. I have a loving family, many wonderful friends, health for myself (after all, a little hair loss is not the end of the world) and my loved ones, a comfortable roof over my head, food on the table…my list of blessings goes on.

Others are not so fortunate, however. Over Christmas, Mumsie, Hubby and I went to the soup kitchen to help prepare and serve a Christmas dinner for anyone who had nowhere else to go. Just imagine – no place to go at Christmas and nobody to care about them. Many adults showed up with their children and all were grateful for the meal. The children weren’t expecting to receive any gifts – not even a simple toy or a book, never mind iPads, iTouch, lap tops or Wii games. However, thanks to the generous spirit of our community, every adult and child there received a gift. One store donated gingerbread houses and trains, while other people donated food and gift cards, toys, books and clothes. One of my nieces – the youngest one, who holds a special place in my heart because of her compassion for others – donated some of her dolls, stuffed toys and “baby” books, all still in mint condition.

Watching every parent and child receive a good meal and a present was a blessing. And being able to share the joy that emanated from each and every one of them was the best Christmas gift any of us could ever receive.

No family was left out this year. As a community, we’re doing what we can – and what we should do to make sure that nobody gets left out.

So, as another year ends and a new one begins, I’m going to do my best not to stress out about the petty little challenges that life throws at us. Instead, I’m going to count my blessings – and share them with as many people as I can.

May the coming year bring you all peace, love, joy – and a recognition of all the blessings we have in our lives.

Tags: blessing, Christmas gifts, x-mas gifts, happy new year, year end, volunteer