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J eff was dying, I was not
A hundred Karposi lesions
covered his body &
made him look like
Nijinsky in afternoon
with a faun, only skinny He was my captain of
bright & stormy mornings
My saint & my man
He was my AIDS hero
(more than mine) & I hated he was leaving me I wanted to pour into him all
the life left to me —
because I could never hope to be
good enough to survive this plague
by myself, let alone for anyone else —
because I was cannon fodder —
because we needed him I told him so one day He laughed & then — I don’t
remember how — he scooped up
my tanned gym-hard bod in his pale &
thin & tangly night-scarred arms &
tender-kissed me several times saying —
here I thought I was pouring my life
into yours. Why? Because I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Pass it on Then he was gone
His words do not keep
me from missing him
but they are a comfort
neither god nor quilt has
offered — my own turn
to triumph with a balm
no one else can
discover or manufacture,
invent or create or speak,
medicine compounded with my
blood & toil & tears & sweat I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Pass it on I have struggled to do what
Jeff could not stay to finish &
Sam & Jim & Russ & Steve & the
too too many more. Too too
soon your turn will come
Let us make each other’s lives
more livable, more filled with sun &
season while we can. Never forget I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Pass it on
Pass it on
Pass it on Namasté Richard Kearns
(dedicated to CM Rosendahl)
-------------------- A Poem by Richard Kearns read to the LA city council. |
